Happy new year, friends! Ok, I'm a little late but it's been a bit hectic the past few weeks. Even though January is on its way out already, I'm feeling pretty optimistic about this year in general. And here's why.
2020 was absolutely the most difficult year I've had in a very long time (I'm sure many of you can relate). But I can also say it's been the year that I've had the most personal growth thus far...and I want to continue that trend.
Besides the obvious (you know, just a little thing called the coronavirus pandemic) last year meant some big changes in my life. To summarize quickly - I started working from home and watching my son full time, the #BlackLivesMatter movement gave me hope for change and helped me feel brave enough (as a black woman who was adopted into a white family) to have real and honest discussions about racism with my loved ones, my mom got out of an unhealthy relationship and moved in with us, I came to terms with my crippling anxiety and quickly deteriorating mental health and finally got help (thank goodness for medication!!); I stood up for myself in a way I've never done before and ultimately left my career job to work for myself doing blogging, influencing and freelancing!
I wish I could be like those people I see in Reels or TikToks and finish that run-on sentence by saying "and then I BECAME A SUCCESSFUL BILLIONAIRE AT 31" ...yeaaaah, not quite.
I'm doing the best I can. I'm still learning. I'm still fighting with social media algorithms, I'm still worried that this will flop and I'll end up going back to another 9-5. I still feel like somehow I'm not actually working hard enough, even though I'm also never really "off the clock" anymore. I'm still worried that when I'm a good blogger I'm not being a good wife, or mom or daughter. I'm still feeling guilty because my financial contribution isn't consistent or as substantial as it used to be. And yes, I'm still looking at other girls on Instagram and thinking - there's no way I'll never be good enough.
But you know what else I'm doing? I'm waking up every morning feeling happy. I'm waking up excited to create content. I've signed on to 8 partnerships in since January 1st and I'm BLESSED to have a platform where I can do what I love! I was home to see my son serve himself with a spoon for the first time and I was there to see him escape from his baby gate by climbing over the coffee table (haha). I've had more quality time with my husband and my mom than I've had in ages and more than anything else, I'm feeling like I'm starting to finally accept the idea that I don't have to be the perfect "anything." I just have to do the best that I can.
Here's to 2021! Let's do this!
xoxo
Amber
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